Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Community, Not Competition

Something that drives me crazy is when women compete with each other.  Now, I'm not talking about actual, sportsman-like competition, but competition over attention, or worse yet, a man.  Our culture has socialized us to put each other down to prop ourselves up.  One phrase that pops up on the 'net every few months is "Bones are for dogs, real men like meat" to say that skinny girls are somehow not worthy of male affection, or anyone's for that matter.  Why do we let the media, and more importantly, each other speak of women this way? 

One of the things I love about belly dance is that there is no one body type that it looks good on.  Because of this, I can, through it, model for my daughter that there is no one-siz-fits all Beauty.  Furthermore, in tribal style in particular, women actually build each other up.  Tribal belly dance requires us to rely heavily on each other in order for the team to look lovely and cohesive.  We must trust the other dancers in our troupe, or we cannot have unity.  Through this walls come down and art is created.  There is no competition, only community.

Just think how much more powerful all women would feel if we would stop making catty comments about other women?  If we focused on each other's amazing qualities?  We would never again wonder if someone meant something unkind.  We would begin to recognize the amazing qualities we ourselves possess.  That's worth a zaghareet.

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