Thursday, April 11, 2013

Monkey See

Now that I have a tiny version of myself, I am so much more aware of everything I do and say.  I knew motherhood would be a huge responsiblity, but of course I never imagined I would feel this kind of weight.

Thankfully, when Alice joins me on some of my more tedious but necessary pursuits, I am encouraged by her cuteness.  Every morning I have the struggle with myself over doing my exercises and belly dance drills.  I'll be honest here.  I hate them.  I HATE exercising, and drills are booorrriiing. However, I like being healthy.  I like being a good dancer.  I like the way my depression is contained by the onslaught of endorphins.  But, I also like snuggling under my covers and sleeping longer.  I like sitting on my butt and vegging.

Yet, Alice, like all toddlers, wants to be like her parents and mimics what I do.  When I'm doing sit-ups, she tries to do them, too.  When I'm doing yoga, she gets into downward facing dog right next to me.  Today I was drilling shaabi, and she hopped along, too.  And said, "Look!  I'm just like Mommy!"  It is very gratifying knowing I am instilling habits in my daughter that will last her whole life.  Habits that are good for her health.  Of course, yesterday after doing some tiring housework, I collapsed on the couch and declared that I needed to sit on my butt for a while.  Alice ran to the couch shouting, "I wanna sit on my butt, too!"  There's that reminder that she is watching *everything* I do, not just the things I want.

I pray every day that I will be a good role model for her.  She's an amazing girl.  She deserves a Mommy who will do everything she can to be amazing, too.

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